Year 2012 in Review: Ethical Society of Saint Louis

The Whomptons joined a religious community.  For starters, you need to know our religious position.  I am an atheist and Eric is, at best, a deist; neither of us believes there is/are god/gods/goddesses actively at hand in our world.  Any good that happens is because humans made it, and any bad in the world is because humans made it.  At core, that conflicts with most faith traditions and we’ve never felt at home in various churches as a result.

Enter the Ethical Society of Saint Louis.  My first experience at the Ethical Society was back in college, when I attended a Roe v. Wade celebration there, and I remember wondering “Wow!  I never imagined a church supporting abortion rights.”  About seven years later, Eric and I started hunting for a Saint Louis church community and I remembered the Ethical Society. 

The Ethical Society places "deed before creed" and encourages its members to think deeply, be intentional, and do what is good and right.  The Sunday School core values sum it nicely:  "I am free to question.  I am free to choose what I believe.  I accept responsibility for my choices and actions.   I strive to live my values."  We went to a fair number of platform addresses – I remember hearing one on gun control and another on atheism that knocked my socks off – and we fell in love with Kate Lovelady, the leader of the Ethical Society.  She has a way of approaching a topic from angles I never anticipated and I always come away struck that I really learned something new when she talks.  We became convinced this place was our best match. 

We didn’t join in 2007 because we weren’t convinced the community was the right match.  The folks who attended platform were substantially older than us, and I was absolutely creeped out by how uniformly white the population was.  What we didn’t realize then is that all the younger folks are helping out with the Sunday School program and/or are selective about which platform addresses they attend because carting around little ones is hard.    

In 2012, we know a wider array of people our age, with kids our daughters’ ages, and with like-minded interests.  We have a community of folks who legitimately and thoughtfully question everything that is put to them, they weigh the information, use critical thinking, and then come to a decision.  Our conversations with Ethical Society members are very intelligent; you cannot get away with standard platitudes in any conversation there.  The members challenge your statements and you need to defend and explain your position using careful reasoning.  I think the population holds the full spectrum of activist white liberals in Saint Louis, who sincerely want to learn from each other and make the world better.  Also, everyone we’ve encountered has been so genuinely nice and gentle, and I don’t worry about someone there making my child feel bad because she doesn’t celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah. 

In addition to getting to know the adult community, we’re meeting the youth community too.  Eric and I have taught four Sunday School lessons each.  Eric’s experience was overwhelming – corralling 16 1^st and 2^nd graders was substantially more challenging than originally anticipated – but, by the end of the month, Eric had a much better handle on the group.  I took the 5^th and 6^th grade class on purpose (I understand that age group!) and had a smoother transition and more positive experience.  We also joined Ethical Outdoors, a scouting group that allows members of all ages, genders, sexual orientations, and religious affiliations to participate.  Our whole family goes to the meetings and we’ve met more people there as well. 

We finally have a place where we fit, and it’s so wonderful.  Our weekends are substantially busier now that we’re active members – attending Sunday morning services takes up a LOT of weekend time – but the time is well invested.